Thursday, November 24, 2011

Too Much and Not Enough

It is Thanksgiving.  What am I thankful for?  Too much and not enough.

I am thankful for too much food, too much choice, too much love.
Too much food, that I can worry about calories if I chose.  Chose the food I like if I want.  And want a meal a few days out if I desire.   I am never hungry.  I am thankful.
Too much choice, that I can organize my days.  Makes plans in my planner.  And consider things like "what is my calling?" and "how do I want to get there?"  I am free to decide today.  I am thankful.
Too much love, that I can focus on the quality of my relationships, rather than the quantity.  That I can get angry, laugh ridiculously loud, make mistakes, act as if I am alone in this world, yet Love always finds me.  I am thankful.

And, (although I write this with trembling), I am thankful for not enough.
Not enough health so that I am nearly always reminded of life's fragility.
Not enough certainty, that I am regularly reminded, and sometimes flattened, by my finiteness.
Not enough in and of myself, that I am compelled and wooed by Grace.