My Last Best Year: Grown Up Christmas Wish

I’m not quite sure what this rendition of my blog will be, except posts about my life with more openness on a not-so-journey to …Humanhood?  Somethinghood.  I also hope that it will include some posts from friends about life going unexpectedly: things showing up late…or early,  or on time but different than the norm.  Whether current, past, or vicarious.  Whether resolved, raw, pain-filled, or joyful.  So if you have something to post, email me at lizzycasey@gmail.com.  I will be up front that I value two things in blog posts: honesty and brevity.  Anonymity is okay.   Profanity is fine, as long as it speaks to the amazing grace where Holy and human meet; humor is definitely included in that.  Consider submitting something.  This is my grown up Christmas wish.

Last Best Year: Step One, Two, and Three

Step One:  Get a new, impulsive haircut (which, inevitably will cause an emotional crisis).

Step Two: Go to an awesome dinner, with awesome people.

Step Three: Get an amazing birthday present from Dan the Man.

My Last Best Year: Deeply Personal Very Public Information

Today I turn 34.  Ever since my health went haywire at 25, I have welcomed each birthday as a gift; thankful for more time to be with people and live more fully.  More time to give, love, and heal.  I have truly celebrated aging.

That is, until sometime in the last year or so.

Although I have not made a public announcement of our desire to have children, some things are apparent: we are in our mid-30s, happily married for 5+ years, financially stable, in good health, we welcome children in our home and lives…so…”Do you have kids?”  Family building is such a deeply personal affair, yet so very public.  The answer, plain-as-day, is no.  So maybe this isn’t an announcement after all. 

We have a deeply personal story here.  Complete with joy, pain, sex, surgery, giving, receiving, herbal teas, financial worries, love growing, sobbing, chromosomal testing, medical specialists, anger, you-name-it analysis, prayer, hope, travel, drama, applications, helplessness, empowerment, fixing, waiting, castor oil, dreaming, needles, resting, discipline, licentiousness, counseling, tinctures, test kits, and God, God, God.

Any western woman knows the line the medical community draws in the sand: 35.  Frankly, I think its BS for a jazillion reasons. Nonetheless, this damn statistical line is hovering in my peripheral vision…and this is me giving it the finger.  (See that?  That’s my middle finger).  And, mysteriously, less loudly, I want to give it a warm embrace all at the same time.

Happy 34^th Birthday to me!

Here’s to being unashamedly, (but appropriately?), open in my 34^th year. 

My Last Best Year. 

Selling Out This Christmas

I had a boyfriend in high school that was into the straight edge, hard core scene.  It was there that I learned you could “sell out” to “mainstream” music.  It was cool to use this language.  While I get that there was an element of not “selling out” to big business, the comments were primarily reputation and socially driven.  We wanted to be unique and have our own little corner of coolness.  I laugh.  After all, we were in high school.

This morning I surfed the Internet with the “Occupy Christmas” lense and continue to be delighted with the growing number of companies and entrepreneurs that are launching fair-trade, artisan craft businesses and the like. 

At the same time I have been hearing social media and social circle murmurs of how it is now “trendy” to go this direction for the holidays…negatively-ish.  As if, now – crap – more people are getting intentional about their purchasing power…???...!!!  Lets just go ahead and put a big old BS sign on that bull.  It reminds me of high school.  Praise God for this social trend, that really does justice to our society.  Jump on the bandwagon, friends.  

What's the Other Option?

This morning I have been catching up on some of my favorite blogs.  Sometimes this is one of the most encouraging things I do all week.  Sometimes it is one of the most overwhelming.

I am especially drawn to blogs about those helping children in extreme poverty right now.  That is happening, ...right now.  And I am prayerful about how this longheld passion of mine is intersecting more and more closely with my personal life.

To look at the number of lives, projects and leaders in the sub-culture of engaging poverty is the overwhelming part.  It feels like a big sea.  A big, big sea.  The internet torments me.

And then I look at my own life: Project I See You in the Dominican Republic.  In La Victoria, in La Canita.  What is that compared to all this?  What are we doing???  Someone else should be doing this for sure.  Someone with a better website on the internet.

But as I quiet myself, I hear my friend's voice: "What's the other option?  The other option is to not go."    And that is what I know to do, right now.

Happy Birthday Dan

Happy Birthday, Daniel Craig Wagner.  You are a good man, my favorite companion, and a heck-of-a dancer fun-time. xoxo. 

the good old days (aka - learning how to post blog photos)

 I have always had mature taste.  Maxing and relaxing, with Mickey and Sly.

Mersi and me bonding over conversation hearts.