Friday, May 27, 2011

7 Years Later: Hurry Up and Wait

Imagine how your lip feels when you go to the dentist.  The numbest stage: thick, thick, thick, heavy.  The phantom stage: "did I really just feel that twinge and tingle?"  ...and so the final part where you think: "Sometime in the next 5 minutes I will feel 'normal' again."  That final stage is how I live with my right side now - 7 years later - I am thankful.  And the sea-ship that my body feels like it is on has found much quieter waters.  Most days, my imbalance is hardly noticeable and maybe even lulling.  I often find myself swaying to keep up; I don't think others even see it. 

I'm not even sure when my body arrived at this "baseline," this "new normal."  It must have been sometime in the last 7 years...SEVEN, 7, seven years.  That is a long time.

I am fast-forwarding too much as I write.  I am.  I want to HURRY UP.  Get to the good stuff.  The stuff about how I went through more and more hell, BUT that I learned so much about myself, life, God, others.   That my story winds through misdiagnoses, surgery, diagnoses, undiagnoses (which isn't even a word).

But in reality; in real time; although I wanted to hurry up, and deeply believed in the good stuff on the other end, I had to, (and have to?) wait: uncertain, suffering, waiting.  And wait some a lot of waiting rooms. 


  1. Hey Lizzy - I really appreciate these posts and am reading everyone. Like reading a Grisham novel or something! it's good to hear your reflections on your story. It's powerful. Keep telling it.
    Proud to be your business partner, even if we never make money! :o) HA.
    See you in a week.

  2. Grisham? Ha! He was the first LOoooooong book I read outside of school...The Firm? :) Thank you for the encouragement, Brian. I feel a bit foreshadowy: the omniscient narrator...yet...not. Praying for your last few days there.