Tuesday, May 31, 2011

7 Years Later: My, My, Look At Those Thighs

Early in my life I decided that I hated my thighs.   I mean, really hated them.  The problem was they were attached to me, yet I was at war with them...my own body.  For 25 years I was at war with them. 
The night after my first neurologist appointment a cease fire was called between my psyche and my legs in the shower.  I felt the water trickle over my body on the left side - light, warm, and comforting; my right side - sharp, stinging and muted all at the same time; I was regaining some feeling.  I was very aware of the contrast; I imagined what it would be to sense the left side on my right.  I prayed for that kind of healing. And then I think the brain lesion had something say; I think God said, "You have hated these legs for way too long.  They are yours.  You want them.  You really do."  I really did.  I grieved and felt free all at the same time.     

This is how it is when your life is turned upside down in a moment.  Any time of stillness brings up something unexpected; often overwhelming.  Plus - I was on a boat load of steroids, anti-seizure meds, etc.  We are whole people; that could have factored in.

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