Saturday, June 4, 2011

7 Years Later: A Deal with God

It was quickly decided that I should start MS medication along with all the crazy medication to help my body/brain recover from this injury.  MS meds are injectibles that have pretty severe side effects.  Many people that are diagnosed chose not to use them for various reasons, but a major reason is the side effects.  I decided to give them a try since my path seemed clear at this point.

 (By the way, there is tons of exciting, breaking research, on MS and treatment for it.  For more info on the disease and its treatment visit

My saint of a mother had this wild, (and genius), idea: take the full FMLA allowance of 6 weeks off right away.  She gave me good reasons for my practical mind: to be with family, adjust to the medication, make some initial lifestyle changes, and let my mind and body heal.  

“But, what if this happens again?  I need that time just in case.”  

“Honey, if this happens again I am coming to get you and you are living with me.”  


And then I made a deal with God.  “God.  If this happens again, I am going home.”  (Back to family's home in Maryland.  I was in Colorado going to Seminary.  Like, as in, I had a call to ministry and was going to grad school for it; hence, the direct deal with God).   I did not worry about the cosmic questions at that point: did God do this?  Did He allow it?  Could he have stopped it?  I just simply said it; I was certain.  (Decisiveness in crisis is key).

The one thing that is certain about the diagnosis of MS, is that nothing is certain.  The diagnosis carries a ton of weight, but actually predicts very, very little.  But I was certain, that if I had another "episode,"  I was going home to momma.  (And Dad.  Who was also a saint.  Maybe more later on his two week stay in a one bedroom apartment with his physically, emotionally unhinged 25 year old daughter.  Definitely a saint.). 

I think I should have been a little more specific with God, though.  Because I said, "If THIS happens again."  Too specific.  But again, I get ahead of myself.  That was September, October, November, etc.  I'm still in July and August - with a lot of time on my hands.  

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