It seems to me that every human struggles to share their internal world with this external world. Part of growing up, maturing, and intimacy is dealing with this very thing. Now if you add to that the layer of chronic illness, then things get even more messy. (That same thing can be said for grief, or anything else that is not readily apparent, by the way).
I have hesitated to write much about dealing with chronic illness, because it can really be burdensome for people to read. And there is this "victimy" feeling that I project that other people are projecting on me. Not fun. And I want to be careful, because I think there are many important things for people to hear about dealing with chronic pain or discomfort. There is something terrible about it; but there is something holy about it.
This has come to mind in recent weeks for me because I have been dealing with a non-chronic health issue that is not serious, but concerning. And I have had this overwhelming fear as I have walked into each doctor appointment that the bobbling doctor head would recite, "Oh, that is because of your chronic issues." And before I even walk in the door, I want to punch the doctor in their face. Terrible! But this is where the holy part comes in: I have to slow myself down; waaaaaay down. Pray. Ask God for whatever: patience, insight, assertiveness, receptivity. And somehow, instead of wanting to punch the doctor, (which really is NOT an option), I see the other human standing in front of me, (a really smart one), just trying to figure this big mess out.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Project I See You
I just realized that I have not posted a link to the group that I am going to the DR with! Check out Project I See You at www.projectiseeyou.com. Or you can find us on Facebook or Twitter.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
A Beach Day? I Mean, That Is $400.
Good question. My pragmatic mind goes straight there. But consider just a few things that are expanding my heart, and curb my boxed in thinking:
1. In May 2009 we did this very thing for these women. They still talk about it.
2. How do you communicate to someone that they have inherent, indelible value? I am not sure, but I think it leans towards extravagance, which by nature is not practical.
3. And if my practical mind persists, I go back to this: Many of these women, who live just 20 minutes from the beach, have never been! White, sandy beaches; clear blue/green water. Their lives do not allow this. That simply would not be true for any of us sitting at a computer and reading a blog.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Raising Money
I, like many, hate raising money. I can remember feeling badly asking my grandparents to buy girl scout cookies from me. I mean - come on!, grandparents are a shoe in. And the stories of undue guilt like this have only continued as my life has lead me to work that inevitably involves raising financial support: non-profit, church work, entrepreneurial endeavors, etc.
Like I said, some of this is "undue" due to some insecurities that needed (need?) to be worked on. Granted; duly noted. Some of this is rooted in my upbringing in a family full of ministers and missionaries that have had specific ideas about how money should be raised for ministry endeavors. Some of this, though, still remains as viable doubt that guides me as I search for confidence in money raising ventures I find myself in.
Here are just a few pieces of "this": The love of money (and ease) is common to all humans; myself especially. I need to check myself. My friend pointed out many years ago that some people pay full price for "service vacations" to do some humanitarian work cross-culturally. As far as I know, they don't get a tax-break on this. I realize there is more to donor involvement besides paying the bills, (ie - building an involved community and donors that simply want to give to good causes), but it does serve as a double-check for my own sacrifice and financial commitment to projects I am involved in.
Also, non-profits and ministries alike have to constantly balance overhead, lifestyle, and stewardship. And motives are messy. This will always be an issue, regardless of the project, and will hinge upon the personal integrity of those involved. This deserves special attention, but also is difficult and terribly problematic to judge. So I try to keep it simple and pray: is this where I am to invest my time and energy? If the answer is yes, and these issues of integrity seem balanced, then my confidence gains steam.
What are your thoughts?
Like I said, some of this is "undue" due to some insecurities that needed (need?) to be worked on. Granted; duly noted. Some of this is rooted in my upbringing in a family full of ministers and missionaries that have had specific ideas about how money should be raised for ministry endeavors. Some of this, though, still remains as viable doubt that guides me as I search for confidence in money raising ventures I find myself in.
Here are just a few pieces of "this": The love of money (and ease) is common to all humans; myself especially. I need to check myself. My friend pointed out many years ago that some people pay full price for "service vacations" to do some humanitarian work cross-culturally. As far as I know, they don't get a tax-break on this. I realize there is more to donor involvement besides paying the bills, (ie - building an involved community and donors that simply want to give to good causes), but it does serve as a double-check for my own sacrifice and financial commitment to projects I am involved in.
Also, non-profits and ministries alike have to constantly balance overhead, lifestyle, and stewardship. And motives are messy. This will always be an issue, regardless of the project, and will hinge upon the personal integrity of those involved. This deserves special attention, but also is difficult and terribly problematic to judge. So I try to keep it simple and pray: is this where I am to invest my time and energy? If the answer is yes, and these issues of integrity seem balanced, then my confidence gains steam.
What are your thoughts?
Friday, January 7, 2011
Foot in Mouth
I’m kind of notorious for putting my foot in my mouth. As a small example, I say things like, “I got roped into this,” when what I really mean to say is something like, “I’m not sure how I arrived here, but I am thankful.” Now, combine that with some of my efforts, (and authentic desire), to connect with and relate to minority, marginalized, and oppressed individuals and groups; and oh, my ignorance is undeniable.
In high school I had this fantastic US History teacher, Mrs. Lewis. She was African American woman who identified strongly and proudly with her African roots as well as her American heritage. She was passionate, genius, and gracious in teaching us about slavery, civil rights, and detailed African American history. Her father marched with Martin Luther King. I so desperately wanted to be teacher’s pet and was constantly looking for connection points with her. One weekend I met an African American pastor from our area; I was sure this was Mrs. Lewis’ pastor – perfect! You see where this is going…: “Mrs. Lewis, I think I met your pastor this weekend,” I said eagerly….it was a downward spiral from there; foot in mouth. Thankfully, I wasn’t the first eager, white kid Mrs. Lewis had come across and her grace flowed like a river.
This weekend I am attending the Gay Christian Network’s annual conference, http://www.gaychristian.net/conference/. I’m straight, I’m an evangelical Christian, and I’m newly reengaging my own thoughts about the number of issues that surround my fellow conference goers. Perfect recipe for Lizzy to put her foot in her mouth. So, for today I was mostly in listening mode at the conference. But I will say at least this through my blog, (to my handful of faithful followers), "I'm not sure how I arrived here, but I am thankful," and grace flows like a river. Philip Yancey spoke this morning at the conference and fleshed out this idea: grace is like a river, it always flows downhill. For that, I am really thankful.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
My Outdoor Mentors
Santa brought Dan and I snowshoes this year and boy do we love them! Today we took them out for a quick spin on Mt. Evans and it was just beyond beautiful. As we were hiking along, my thoughts got to floating, as they often do when I am trudging up along a path. The theme that emerged was simple: I love doing this!, and I am so thankful! Thankful that I am able!, and thankful for the many mentors that got me to this point.
When I first moved to Colorado, I was attracted to the many outdoor activities, but also overwhelmed by all that I did not know and completely intimidated, mostly due to my tendency towards comparison and difficulty with being a novice. Thankfully, I had friends that mentored me along the way:
- Kevin: you got me out on hiking trail before I even knew that I wanted to be. Thank you for your presence and for teaching me that in order to stay warm at night, I needed to keep my arms inside the sleeping bag.
- Lynne: you went walking, hiking, running, and skiing with me when I was recovering from cancer and beyond. Thank you for your belief, encouragement, and steady friendship. And for laughing through it all.
- Addy: you knew that my biggest hurdle is my fear of being cold!, so you taught me about good gear and then stuck me in the deep end with winter hut trips and snowboarding in frigid temps. You are a gifted guide and the antidote to unhealthy competition that plagues outdoor enthusiasts.
- Dan: you take care of things and take care of me; often tying my boots when I am exhausted or on the verge of giving up. You are patient and kind, even when frustrated. And you always bring really good snacks (and beverages) - so key. Being outdoors with you is a deep joy and especially fulfilling.
Today I thought of all of you with gratitude and big doses of warm nostalgia. (Especially you, Dan, because I was looking uphill at your backside!!!).
When I first moved to Colorado, I was attracted to the many outdoor activities, but also overwhelmed by all that I did not know and completely intimidated, mostly due to my tendency towards comparison and difficulty with being a novice. Thankfully, I had friends that mentored me along the way:
- Kevin: you got me out on hiking trail before I even knew that I wanted to be. Thank you for your presence and for teaching me that in order to stay warm at night, I needed to keep my arms inside the sleeping bag.
- Lynne: you went walking, hiking, running, and skiing with me when I was recovering from cancer and beyond. Thank you for your belief, encouragement, and steady friendship. And for laughing through it all.
- Addy: you knew that my biggest hurdle is my fear of being cold!, so you taught me about good gear and then stuck me in the deep end with winter hut trips and snowboarding in frigid temps. You are a gifted guide and the antidote to unhealthy competition that plagues outdoor enthusiasts.
- Dan: you take care of things and take care of me; often tying my boots when I am exhausted or on the verge of giving up. You are patient and kind, even when frustrated. And you always bring really good snacks (and beverages) - so key. Being outdoors with you is a deep joy and especially fulfilling.
Today I thought of all of you with gratitude and big doses of warm nostalgia. (Especially you, Dan, because I was looking uphill at your backside!!!).
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Grassroots in the DR
In the spring of 2009 I went on a trip with my church to the Dominican Republic. For me the trip was impromptu and I was in somewhat of a daze. I had just been laid off from my job that I had comfortably had for 6 years and was left with my minuscule private counseling practice to keep me working. I had a lot of time on my hands and I was a bit lost, (as much of the workforce can empathize with in these recent times).
It is not in my nature to decide three weeks before a trip to just go and especially on a mission trip. (I am typically pretty intense about purpose and intentionality when I am asking for prayer and especially financial support for an endeavor...more on this later). Yet, I went at the suggestion of a dear friend, the nurturing of my loved ones, and practical support from friends and strangers.
What a healing and igniting time it was for our group of women in La Victoria: Dominican and North American alike. Our friends Mercy and Angie had dreamed for years of connecting these women that live in the country side of La Victoria with their friends in Colorado. The specific purpose/(s) was/(were) unclear, but the value of mutual respect and admiration, and relationship, were the driving force. We visited with these women in their homes, and explored our value through conversation, teaching, and demonstration.
And what a full circle time it was for me personally. Since my undergrad work in International Public Health, I have had a dream of working on a grassroots project with women in a developing nation that was both holistic and practical. And that was one solid outcome of this trip. Since our last visit our group has been in contact with these Dominican women brainstorming micro-enterprise business ideas and praying about what our next steps will be.
Two years later, we are returning to get "for real" about these next steps, February 4 to February 11, 2011. To be true to our Dominican sisters, there is a lot of our trip that is "unplanned", but some things we are planning (with open hands): go with these women to the market in Santa Domingo to explore further possibilities (most of them rarely leave their town), explore material supply options for their product ideas, cook and taste test some products :), make some craft products, provide them with feminine health care kits, investigate gardening options, possibly begin some business basics training and of course - take them to the beach (although it is only 20 minutes away, their daily life does not allow them this luxury).
If you are the praying type, we need lots of it! Do we even know what we are doing? Kind of, ...not really? Pray that we will see what God had envisioned for all of us through this relationship. And all the practical matters that go along with this. Oh - and we don't have housing for our stay yet, so...
If you are compelled to give to this cause, we are raising money through our church and your gift would be tax-deductible. Just make a check to Lookout Mountain Community Church with a sticky note that says "Women's DR Trip" and mail it to: 534 Commons Drive, Golden CO 80401. As an FYI, I will paying for my travel expenses through my counseling business. Soon after my trip to the DR in 2009, I committed to growing my private practice as my primary employment and decided to assign a percentage of my business to doing things such as this. If you do give, it will go towards our team's collective expenses, and things such as supplies for the feminine kits and gardening, (which we will buy in the DR), and micro-loans in the future.
Email me with questions at lizzycasey@gmail.com and more blogging on this to come...
It is not in my nature to decide three weeks before a trip to just go and especially on a mission trip. (I am typically pretty intense about purpose and intentionality when I am asking for prayer and especially financial support for an endeavor...more on this later). Yet, I went at the suggestion of a dear friend, the nurturing of my loved ones, and practical support from friends and strangers.
What a healing and igniting time it was for our group of women in La Victoria: Dominican and North American alike. Our friends Mercy and Angie had dreamed for years of connecting these women that live in the country side of La Victoria with their friends in Colorado. The specific purpose/(s) was/(were) unclear, but the value of mutual respect and admiration, and relationship, were the driving force. We visited with these women in their homes, and explored our value through conversation, teaching, and demonstration.
And what a full circle time it was for me personally. Since my undergrad work in International Public Health, I have had a dream of working on a grassroots project with women in a developing nation that was both holistic and practical. And that was one solid outcome of this trip. Since our last visit our group has been in contact with these Dominican women brainstorming micro-enterprise business ideas and praying about what our next steps will be.
Two years later, we are returning to get "for real" about these next steps, February 4 to February 11, 2011. To be true to our Dominican sisters, there is a lot of our trip that is "unplanned", but some things we are planning (with open hands): go with these women to the market in Santa Domingo to explore further possibilities (most of them rarely leave their town), explore material supply options for their product ideas, cook and taste test some products :), make some craft products, provide them with feminine health care kits, investigate gardening options, possibly begin some business basics training and of course - take them to the beach (although it is only 20 minutes away, their daily life does not allow them this luxury).
If you are the praying type, we need lots of it! Do we even know what we are doing? Kind of, ...not really? Pray that we will see what God had envisioned for all of us through this relationship. And all the practical matters that go along with this. Oh - and we don't have housing for our stay yet, so...
If you are compelled to give to this cause, we are raising money through our church and your gift would be tax-deductible. Just make a check to Lookout Mountain Community Church with a sticky note that says "Women's DR Trip" and mail it to: 534 Commons Drive, Golden CO 80401. As an FYI, I will paying for my travel expenses through my counseling business. Soon after my trip to the DR in 2009, I committed to growing my private practice as my primary employment and decided to assign a percentage of my business to doing things such as this. If you do give, it will go towards our team's collective expenses, and things such as supplies for the feminine kits and gardening, (which we will buy in the DR), and micro-loans in the future.
Email me with questions at lizzycasey@gmail.com and more blogging on this to come...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)